How to Teach Kids the F-B-T-S Strategy to Manage Big Emotions - Plus Bonus Videos!

Whole Child Counseling
Mar 10, 2020
3 min read

Updated: 4 days ago

F-B-T-S or Feeling-Breath-Thought-Skill is a CBT technique to teach children how to handle their big feelings. To learn more about this strategy, check out Skills for Big Feelings.

Big feelings can be overwhelming for kids. Whether it's frustration during a math lesson, anxiety before a test, or a meltdown after a tough day, children often don’t have the words or the tools to navigate what’s going on inside. As educators, counselors, and parents, we need simple, structured strategies that help kids pause, reflect, and respond rather than react.

That’s where F-B-T-S comes in. This simple, child-friendly technique rooted in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers kids a roadmap for emotional regulation. It stands for:

F – Feeling
B – Breath
T – Thought
S – Skill

Let’s break it down.

F-B-T-S stands for Feeling-Breath-Thought-Skill, a step-by-step method that helps children become more aware of their emotional experiences and learn healthy ways to cope. Developed as part of the Skills for Big Feelings curriculum by Casey O’Brien Martin, this approach integrates evidence-based CBT concepts in a way that young learners can understand and apply. Here's a video of a silly song I put together to practice F-B-T-S:

Powtoon Link and the Vimeo Link

1. Feeling: “What am I feeling right now?”

This first step teaches children to pause and identify the emotion they’re experiencing. This might include labeling feelings like sad, mad, anxious, or excited. Emotional awareness is the foundation for emotional regulation.

Helpful prompts:

What color is your feeling?
Where do you feel it in your body
Can you name your feeling using a feelings chart?

2. Breath: Take 3 Slow, Deep Breaths

Once the emotion is named, kids are guided to pause and take 3 slow, deep breaths. Controlled breathing helps calm the nervous system, reduce stress hormones, and create the space to think clearly. They can also try any of the other breathing techniques that are taught in Skills for Big Feelings including:

Snowman Stress Melter Breath
Cell Phone Breath
Flip Flop Nostril Breath
Smell the Flower, Blow out the Candle (here is a video - there are videos of 35+ skills included in the Skills for Big Feelings bundle!)
Unicorn Breath (here is another video - there are videos of 35+ skills included in the Skills for Big Feelings bundle!)

3. Thought: Choose a Helpful, Happy Thought

Here, the child explores the thoughts connected to the feeling. Are they having an unhelpful thought such as being on a negative self-talk loop? This step builds cognitive awareness and creates an opening for reframing their unhelpful thought into a more helpful and realistic thought. Kids learn not to believe everything they think.

Reframing practice:

What is a more helpful thought I could choose?
Is this thought 100 percent true?
What would I say to a friend feeling this way?

4. Skill: Choose a Skill to Pratice

Finally, the child chooses a coping skill that matches their need. This could be any of the 35+ skills taught in Skills for Big Feelings that are based on somatic relaxation, trauma-informed mindfulness, and CBT techniques such as:

Shake, Wiggle, Shake (Here is another video - there are videos of 35+ skills included in the Skills for Big Feelings bundle!)
Ski Jumper Here is another video - there are videos of 35+ skills included in the Skills for Big Feelings bundle!)
Hand Massage (I love to use lotion for this one too. Here is another video - there are videos of 35+ skills included in the Skills for Big Feelings bundle!)